LeFantome's Laid Back E-Mail Sig Tutorial

Le Fantome's TEXAS HTML Tutorial

Many quesshuns come maw way about makin' signatures 'n WebTV E-Mai, so Ah thought Ah would answuh some uv thar dang quesshuns 'n this'n page, pilgrim.

How do Ah start 'n wut am HTML?

HTML am hypertext markup language or thar dang stuff y'all put 'n thar dang signature box tuh make ah signature thut thar am y'alls own, hot damn! Thar dang very first thin' tuh put 'n thar dang box am <html> (no spaces, naw nothin'. just <html> Ya first go find thar dang box bar clickin' on thar dang settin'. 'n then clik on signature.Put <html> 'n they's first.....

Whatall's next.??? Body???

Then y'all git tuh make some decisions! What color do y'all want thar dang background? PICK YER COLORS Ah suggest ah color 'n if y'all want tuh put 'n ah background image then do thut thar latuh 'n thar dang tag! Say y'all want tuh put 'n ah star background 'n y'alls email? Well then just do that thar like this: <body bgcolor=blue text=white> (gotta bay ah constrastin' color!! like dark color with light color 'n then go 'n find ah URL fuh ah star background or some other cutey background!

What thar dang heck am ah URL?

Ah URL is puter language fer an address uv ah picture, sound, or page ya want tuh put 'n ah e-mail r webpage, hot damn! Next quesshun am where do Ah find one 'n how do Ah get it..., pilgrim. well try this.Put 'n ah search fuh wut ya want..in this'n engine.Just type 'n ah word or set uv word tuh tell wut y'all are lookin' fuh like hot air balloon or stars...
If ya don't find em there then go visit the good ole DOC DRAAC and ask him! Now tuh find thar dang URL y'all brin' up thar dang pix y'all like 'n push thar dang "go to" button on y'alls webby 'n push "show last" 'n that thar gives y'all an address thut thar starts n'all http://...., Leroy! Just hold down thar dang CMD key 'n smacked Ah tuh highlight that thar 'n smacked CMD X tuh cut that thar (it gots ta disappear ferm thar dang screen 'n now y'all are able tuh use that thar 'n y'alls sig box, pilgrim. Still don't get it? READ THIS THEN Just go there 'n where y'all put <body bgcolor=blue text=white background="http://url you just cut">Use CMD V tuh paste that thar 'n that thar be right place, pilgrim. Make sure that thar am 'n quotashun marks!!! (probably have tuh add 'em before thar dang http 'n aftuh thar dang gif or jpg or whatevuh that thar is..., pilgrim. Very important!
Now Ah am goin' tuh digress ah min now 'n tell y'all thut thar am is nicey net ediquette if y'all transload thar dang gif or jpg tuh ah home servuh 'n not just link tuh it, pilgrim. But thut thar am ah whole othuh process 'n ain't goin' into that thar here....

So how do Ah add othuh PIxs 'n E-Mail?

To add othuh images just use thar dang finduh above or use somethin' someone sent tuh y'all or whatevuh or where evuh ya find something..., pilgrim. 'n then use this'n code tuh put that thar in..
<img src="http://URL OF IMAGE or pix">
Now y'all kin align that thar all ovuh thar dang bottom uv thar dang page usin' <center> if ya want that thar 'n thar dang centuh or add align=right or align=left within thar dang < > 'n aftuh thar dang quotashun marks 'n thar dang gif url itself....for example...<img src="http://www.geocities.com/username/star.gif" align=right> That's simple ain't it???

Smalluh Images? How do Ah do that?

Ya wanna make that thar smalluh do ya? Well there are TWO ways...Hard 'n Easy.., pardner. EASY am tuh just make ah height tag tuh size that thar down fuh example add this'n tuh y'alls image tag... <img src="http://URL of TOO Big PIX" height=50> Thut thar makes that thar "thumbnail size" 'n y'all kin play around n'all thar dang height tag tuh get that thar thar dang size y'all want that thar tuh be.HARD way but bettuh am tuh take that thar tuh IMAGE MAGICK 'n use thar dang re-size feature there tuh make thar dang image smalluh 'n tranload that thar tuh y'alls server, pardner. If y'all dona have ah servuh like Geocities or Tripod then use thar dang EASY method.

So how do Ah find 'n add ah nifty Tune tuh maw E-Mail?

Well, first y'all think uv ah tune ya wanna play 'n y'alls email.., Leroy! Once ya do just FIND YER TUNES 'n type 'n thar dang name uv thar dang tune 'n that thar gots ta search fuh that thar on thar dang net! Once ya find ah version y'all like just cut 'n paste that thar tuh y'alls webby like before usin' CMD Ah tuh highlight 'n CMD X tuh cut....and then go tuh thar dang sig box again 'n add that thar like this... <embed src="http://tune ya cut" autostart=true loop=true>
Thar dang autostart means thut thar that thar gots ta play when y'all open thar dang mail 'n thar dang loop-true means that thar gots ta play till hell freezes ovuh or y'alls box self destructs....!
Now bay aware thut thar Tripod midis 'n Geocities midis dona always play when ya want 'em 'n all cause them's are fussy n'all WebTV....Ah put all maw midi's on Zone Servuh 'n them's play just fine.....

Wanna make Link Color different?

So ya are tired uv thar dang link color bein' skyblue....well, there am ah way around that....Say fuh example thut thar there am ah link ya wanna put 'n y'alls e-mail say fuh y'alls page, pilgrim. If y'all wanna make thar dang link them's clik on yellow instead uv skyblue do this....
<a href="http://URL of link" nocolor><font color=yellow> MY PAGE </a>
That's all there am tuh that....simple, eh?

What the heck is Font Size

Change thar dang size uv thar dang letters/font? font size=? where y'all would re-place thar dang "?" n'all ah numbuh 1 through 7, Leroy! This'n am wut thar dang sizes look like:

Size 1
Size 2
Size 3
Size 4
Size 5
Size 6
Size 7
<font size=1>Writin' Goes HERE 1<br> <font size=2>Writin' Goes HERE 2<br> <font size=3>Writin' Goes HERE<br> <font size=4 >Writin' Goes HERE<br> <font size=5>Writin' Goes HERE<br> <font size=6>Writin' Goes HERE<br> <font size=7>Writin' Goes HERE</font>

How do Ah end all this?

Aftuh y'all put all ya want 'n y'alls body uv y'alls HTML ya put closin' tags uv </body></HTML> Ah see ah lot uv sigs ferm othuh peepulthat put 'em all ovuh thar dang place but y'all need tuh add 'em only at thar dang bottom not aftuh evuh dang image or musik midi 'n y'alls script! One final note: if y'all evuh see thut thar when y'all look at y'alls sig an y'all see parts uv thar dang codes 'n that thar ya just havena put thar dang < > tag or left out some quotashun marks somewhere, pilgrim. Thut thar seems tuh bay thar dang most common mistake Ah see

Wonner whut th' alt keys is fo'? Here is some of th' symbols yo' kin make wif th' alt an' shif' keys this hyar fust group of symbols is made by pushin' ALT an' Th' Letter.

A = 
B =  trade mark 
C =  cedilla 
D =   icelan'ic eth 
F =   funckshun 
G =   copyright 
H =   feminine o'dinal 
J =   masculine o'dinal 
K =   dagger 
L =   not sign 
M =   micron sign 
O =   o slash 
P =   pareegraph 
Q =  
R =  registerd bran' name 
S =  
T =  icelan'ic tho'n 
V =  
W =  
X =  
Y =  yen currency 
Z =  
1 =  superscripp 
2 =  
3 =  
4 =  cents 
5 =  
6 =  
7 =  
8 =  
0 =  degree 
= ,= [=' = ' 

Ths next group uses th' ALT key an' Shif' key an' th' letter: 
A =  
C = Ǡ cedilla 
D = Р 
H =  I =  
J =  
K =  double dagger 
L =  
O =  
Q = Ơ 
W =  
T =  
1 =  invahted exclamashun 
3 =  poun' sterlin' 
4 =  juneral currency symbol 
5 =  per thousan'  
9 =  
0 =  
?= = is  {=" }=" \=  

fo' This hyar next group..... Push ALT,then th' letter. Then release ALT... an' push th' letter once mo'e. 
e =  
i =  
n =  
u =  umlaut 

To Make Them Capitol, use ALT+Escape an' th' letter. Then release an' push Shif' an' th' letter once mo'e: 
E = ɠ 
I = Π 
N = Ѡ 
U =  

Fo' these push ALT+E, then release an' push th' letter. 
a =   
e =  
i =  
o =  
u =  
y =  

All of th' follerin' also wawk wif th' capitol letter method above. Fo' These push ALT+I, then release an' push th' letter. 
a =  
e =  
i =  
o =  
u =  
s =  

to add th' Umlaut t'these letters push ALT+U, then release an' push th' letter. 
a = 䠠 
e = 렠 
i =  
o =  
u =  
y =  

These push ALT+` (th ` is at th top lef of yer keyboard) then release an push th letter. 
a =  
e =  
i = 젠 
o = 򠠠 
u =  

Here is a few moe: 
Push ALT + N, then A tgit this: 
Push ALT + i, then S tgit this: 
Push ALT + N, then O tgit this: 

to be continued....and enhanced....